these lives of angels
by The People Speak
Summary: hold on just a little longer. take my hand and pull me under. i can't keep us afloat but we're okay. because you're dragging me down like i am the sun and you are the horizon. but we're still breathing and still alive. but everyone knows that it won't last much longer. / angst / canon ships / second person


_"in those final moments as reality collapsed around us, she looked at peace, no fear or anguish she just shone with that radiant shine that she always did, dignified and accepting. in those moments i think i finally understood, we had tried and i think that's all that really mattered." - andrew smailes_

* * *

They say it was an accident: something that spiralled out of control too quickly. The people aren't exactly sure of the consequences, but everyone here is far too aware. There's something about it that burns through your godly blood and corrupts your mind until you're a bumbling shell of the person you used to be, and it always ends by choking to death on your own blood, if you get that far.

* * *

\- ( **REYNA** ) -

Her name is Gwen, and she's the first.

Camp Jupiter is swamped by some kind of cold, and most of your centurions are out of action with mild symptoms. Few people have progressed past mild coughing and fever, but Gwen doesn't look good. The medics say she hasn't kept any food down for days, and you visit her, concerned. She doesn't look good, but because she's Gwen, one of your best friends, she smiles at you anyways.

It doesn't do a good enough job of hiding her pain.

The medics explain she has strange joint pains and headaches and she's bizarrely feverish. She can't eat or drink, and her pulse wavers occasionally. It's nothing no one has ever seen before, but they promise that unicorn horn shavings and ambrosia and nectar will fix it. Gwen just squeezes your hand and tells you it's nothing to worry about. She tells you that you have work to do.

You leave, but you'll be back tomorrow and you promise her that. She smiles and waves you away, leaving her alone with the medics.

They tell you it was sudden and unstoppable. Her blonde hair, previously beautiful and smooth, is falling out in chunks and she tears the rest out herself. She curls in a ball, rips out her IV, and screams and screams and screams. This patient you spoke with yesterday has lost her mind, and you're nearly losing yours because it's impossible that these changes happened so fast. You can only stand nearby numbly as she stops screaming and starts rocking back and forth.

Whatever she has, has progressed violently in an unprecedented amount of time, and you fear for where it will take your dear friend next.

As it turns out, she does stop screaming, but only to shake uncontrollably and began puking and coughing up blood. It's sudden, and the spatter of red against the stark, white sheets is startling. The medics rush towards her, but she spasms and her beautiful blue eyes bulge with terror. She's hacking on something and the doctors are panicking–she's choking on her own blood. You watch in horror as they administer what they can, but she only tries to scream when exposed to the nectar and chokes faster. You finally avert your eyes, as her spasms lessen. She's gone.

Her name is Gwen and she is the first to die, and you know she won't be the last, as aprobatio stumbles into the medical bay, coughing and shaking.

* * *

\- ( **ANNABETH** ) -

Reyna's letters bring you a panic that settles deep in the pit of your stomach and doesn't go away. The death count at Camp Jupiter is rising drastically, and the praetor is short on ideas, short of burning all the bodies of people who have died or contracted the disease. They've established it is some sort of airborne plague that only seems to affect demigods. The legacies with at least three generations of distance are fine, and as are the mortals, but any demigod even exposed to the disease seems to catch it.

You worry about where it came from, since nobody seems to know, and if it will decimate your home as utterly as it is decimating hers. An Iris-message to Chiron tells you that it is all well at Camp Half-Blood and though it is selfish, you are relieved. It's not as bad as what you do next. Percy and you have just settled into an apartment in New York, and you burn Reyna's letters so he won't find them. You don't want to lose him, won't lose him.

You keep him in the dark so he doesn't run off and try to rescue people. You correspond with Camp Jupiter through safe means only, and offer what advice you can to Reyna. She's somehow still unaffected, and for that, you are grateful. She tells you that Frank and Hazel have gone to Canada to visit Frank's family. You tell her to tell them not to return. They are your friends and you don't want to lose them either.

In fact, you advise her to ward off all visitors and to cut contact with the outside. This disease, you decide, is too violent to stop. Reyna tells you that the godly healing goods only seem to worsen it, and you tell her to isolate the sick and evacuate the healthy. She agrees, though is hesitant to doom her city. You are not. It is not your home and though you can grieve for the lost lives, you are more interested in protecting your own.

You ask her to refrain from telling your home, and she agrees. The panic should be contained. She even agrees to cut off correspondence with you, and to refuse anyone admittance into the camp. You ask her to leave too, because she's your friend and you don't want her to die too, but she is Praetor, and you should have known better. She tells you to stay well and stay far, far away.

Percy comes home just as you are burning her last letter, and you fall into his arms, guilty and grieving and confused. You have protected your home, for now, but you may have doomed all others. And his arms wrap around you, and you can't even give him a reason for the tears because you don't want to lose him and you can't lose him too.

* * *

\- ( **JASON** ) -

You know something is wrong the minute that Reyna rearranges your next visit. As the Pontifex Maximus, you need to travel frequently between camps, but she's never told you not to come before. Piper thinks you are being too suspicious, but you can't get the feeling out of your head. So you sit in an office at Camp Half-Blood and try to send an Iris-message to her, but it doesn't go through.

You call Annabeth, because she must know what's going on, but her answers are vague and her eyes are bloodshot. In the background of her office, she has strung news articles up, but they're not in focus for you. She looks exhausted. You ask her if she's alright, and she deflects the question easily, but you don't believe her.

You worry some more about Reyna, and about Camp Jupiter. Piper just asks you to calm down and come back to bed, assuring you in her quiet way that everything will be alright. You run your fingers down her arm and tell her that Reyna is silent and Annabeth looks almost crazy. Piper says that you'll go see Annabeth tomorrow, and that it will prove she's okay.

So you go back to bed, and Piper coughs several times through the night, citing a bad cold when you ask her in the morning. She just smiles at you and asks if you're ready to go see Annabeth and Percy. She has been in contact with Percy to let him know that you're coming by, and you kiss her on the head and off you head.

When you get there, Percy is the only one awake. Annabeth apparently fell asleep in her office and Percy didn't disturb her. You all sit around and exchange updates about your lives: apparently Percy has big plans involving a ring soon and Piper is absolutely thrilled. Annabeth wakes up soon after your arrival, and as she emerges from her office and lays her eyes on Piper and you, you've never seen her that pale before.

One look between the two of you, has her opening her office and revealing the articles she's collected on an illness sweeping the nation. She casts her eyes to the ground as you read the stories and realize, with a sharp ache you notice that they're all demigods and they've all died in the same way.

And then she pulls the rug away and Percy looks devastated and Piper can't make a sound, but you just step away because your home is dying and _YOUR FRIENDS ARE DYING_. Annabeth cries and Percy cries and then you're all crying in a circle on the floor because you have never felt this helpless and useless and hopeless in your whole life.

* * *

\- ( **FRANK** ) -

Reyna tells you not to come home. You're a country away and even though you were born here, your home is there and you have to go back. At first, you are accepting of her request, and you overstay your welcome with your grandmother, but she doesn't seem to mind. Hazel doesn't seem to care either, and you show her around your hometown some more. It all seems okay.

But after a month, you miss the sun of California. You call Reyna again and this time, what you see makes you reel. Reyna is surrounded by paperwork in some kind of office, but it's not hers. It looks more like the room off of the infirmary and you start to worry. She tells you that the camp is fine, but you still can't come back, and even though she is clearly the power between the two of you, you put your foot down.

You are coming back, or she is explaining.

A loud pubescent scream cuts through from her side and you tense. Reyna droops and finally, gives in. Her explanation is vague, but it makes your skin crawl and your heart sink. Gwen is already gone, as are countless others, and Dakota checked into the infirmary this morning. You're a country away, and your friend is leading a group of dying soldiers and _YOUR FRIENDS ARE DYING._

You insist on returning. She forbids it. She tells you to take Hazel and to go to Camp Half-Blood. Already she has been sending unaffected residents of New Rome away, many of the demigods to Camp Half-Blood. You are hesitant to agree, but her exhaustion compels you. You ask, tentatively, if she will join you. There is little left for her to do there, and she admits she will come when she can, if it is safe for her to do so.

Hazel comes in as you end the call, and you hug her. She still smells like cinnamon and everything good in the world, and you know she has already died one too many times, but you tell her. You've never been any good at keeping secrets, especially from her. She's upset too, you both are, but she wants to help, so you start packing.

There are people relying on you, and there are people dying, and you just really want to protect your friends.

* * *

\- ( **PERCY** ) -

After you found out, you naively thought that you could protect your home from it. This _disease_ that is sweeping across the nation shouldn't enter your home because your home is too pure and _has seen too much shit_ for this to happen too. But those are the thoughts of a naive little boy, and you can't afford to be that kid anymore as the Hermes kids bring in a camper who has a nasty cough and a bad headache.

Annabeth's hand closes around yours, cold, as she cautions the Apollo cabin about what the boy might have. Will Solace looks at you, and you understand that he won't just let someone die. The Apollo cabin votes to proceed with treating the boy. As they come to an agreement, one of the younger Hecate campers practically collapses through the doorway.

You bring her over to a bed, and then Annabeth pulls you out of the room. She's trembling, and you're shaking because you're both afraid. You've both spent too long here for this. Neither of you can afford to see things go. You've had too many years of fighting for this to be real, but it is.

Three Apollo campers get sick overnight. Four other campers wander in at various periods through the next day, and by the end of the week, the infirmary is out of beds. The Apollo cabin is changed into a medi-bay as it has been in the past, and it fills up far too quickly. At first, nobody seems to pass the point of weird pains and bad coughs, but you know nothing this simple can last.

Nine days later, you find Will Solace with his head in his hands outside the infirmary. You freeze. He still hears you and looks up. His usually cheery eyes are dull with an emotion you recognize, and you hate yourself for it. He looks down. Apparently, the healing items of the gods only speed up the sickness, and Will seems to be hating himself enough over this whole thing.

You tell him that he couldn't be doing any more than he is. He replies with information that makes you want to find Annabeth immediately. Because if someone from her cabin was sick, someone from her cabin was the first to go, then you need to be with her. You barely spare Will another glance. Your priority is Annabeth. Will is a medic, he's lost people before. You've already lost too much to lose her too.

* * *

\- ( **PIPER** ) -

Hazel and Frank arrive not long after you do. They should leave, you tell them, because people are sick here. Hazel's arms curl around you and they're not going anywhere. You cling to them and to Jason, but he's distracted—worried about Reyna. You worry about everyone. Percy and Annabeth hardly sleep after the first boy (Annabeth's brother) dies and one night you sing them to sleep.

The Apollo kids are risking everything to try and cure this. They've lost three, and five more have come down with it and all they've figured out is that this sickness is burning through godly blood and that any godly healing, magic or using nectar and ambrosia, make it worse. You worry what will happen to the camp if all the Apollo campers succumb.

Another week passes, and the death count here hits twenty-five. You sleep curled in Jason's chest because more than half your cabin is sick and dying and Lacey died yesterday and Mitchell can't stop shaking. At least there is no one missing from the Zeus cabin as Jason holds you and you shiver, not from sickness, but from fear.

The day after Lacey dies, Reyna arrives. She seems fine until she has a coughing fit at dinner. You and the others only watch in horror as she's led away because she's your friend and _ALL YOUR FRIENDS ARE DYING_. Reyna lasts four more days as herself, before the madness sets in. She goes quickly, and the medics assure you, more painlessly than most.

Jason cries a lot and you're running out of tears of your own. So you hold him and you pray for things to get better even though you know they won't.

Reyna is not dead and at rest a week before it happens. It was only a matter of time until it took one of you, but when Annabeth's coughs bring blood to her lips, Percy breaks down.

* * *

\- ( **HAZEL** ) -

You watch her fight because she is strong. But it appears, even strength and wisdom cannot guide her out of this one, and the shivers overtake her too. The medics have stopped administering nectar to everyone, and it seems to slow the process a little, but you watch with sad eyes as she deteriorates. And with her, she'll take him too.

He's always been strong and you've never understood how much of that strength was really hers until now. He never leaves her. He knows his risks, but even when she starts to forget who you all are, she never forgets him. It's poetic, you decide, because he never forgot her when Hera stole his memories.

Frank refuses to go near the sick people, and he hates it when you do. Every time you find him, and you both are well, he kisses you and holds you tightly. You find comfort in his strength because you can't bear to watch Annabeth die, and with her, Percy too. So Frank just holds you and you both grieve together.

You lost your home in Camp Jupiter, and now the other camp is falling too. You grieve for the friends you lost and the ones you will lose and there are days you wish you weren't a daughter of Pluto. Death was always more Nico's thing than yours, but you can still sense the curse, _the plague_ , that is destroying your world.

Percy gets sick the day before Annabeth dies, and he dies just two days later. You burn their shrouds together. Together in life and together in death. You're not sure who cries more: you or the ocean.

After the heroes of Camp Half-Blood pass on, it's a tense lockdown between you and the other three. Reyna's gone too, and now everyone wants to know who is next. At first, you think it will be Piper. She is not very good at hiding things for a daughter of Aphrodite. She is sick, but she hides it from all of you, pretending she's fine. This makes you sure she'll be next, as much as it pains you.

The reality hurts more.

* * *

\- ( **JASON** ) -

Frank checks himself quietly into the infirmary and you see Hazel turn away. She knows too much about death, and Frank is too good for this. Percy and Reyna and Annabeth are already gone, and Leo has been gone for far too long. Your hands tremble until you curl them into fists. You're terrified and you don't like to admit it.

Piper still finds you each night and you cling to each other in desperation. She is your guiding light, and the reason you have not given up hope yet. You hold her close and she strokes your hair or your back and hums classic songs or Cherokee lullabies. They're beautiful, but she's the most beautiful part of it all.

Percy and Annabeth are gone, and he didn't even get to propose. You wonder if you'll ever get that chance, because you want to marry the girl wrapped in your arms, her legs tangled with yours. She is small and fits against you like a puzzle piece and you love her. _You love her._ You love her more than you think you've loved anything, but you're afraid.

Because she is beautiful, but so horribly fragile, just like the rest of the world in which you live. You lost Camp Jupiter: your home since you can remember. You lost Reyna: your very first best friend. You lost Annabeth and Percy: two of your _best_ friends and quite possibly the best people you know. You are losing Camp Half-Blood: the home you chose. You don't want to lose her too.

Camp Half-Blood's numbers dwindle into double digits. Only twenty or so unaffected campers remain. You are thankful that Will Solace and four other Apollo kids are among them. You are thankful that Piper is still okay. You are thankful that you are still okay. Yet, everything is still far too quiet because almost everyone is _dead_.

Frank holds onto a thin thread, and you're sorry that he's facing this. Hazel visits him scarcely, but only because he doesn't want her to get sick. You understand, even if Hazel is upset, because you would tell Piper to stay far, far away. Your friend is incredibly brave, and even though it wasn't as long as you were Praetor for, you are proud you chose him as your successor. He was worthy and wonderful and humble and does not deserve to die.

You don't even make it all the way to the infirmary on the morning he dies. Nico is waiting to intercept you nearby, and Piper detangles herself from your hand, because Hazel needs her. You and Nico instead find seats on the steps of Hera's cabin. You are joined shortly by Will Solace who leans his head on Nico and says nothing. You say nothing too.

After a while, Will laughs and Nico frowns. Your heart sinks. The son of Apollo is bitter and upset because really there's nothing funny about one of your close friends and your head medic getting sick at the same time. Your chest tightens and your eyes drop to the smooth marble steps.

* * *

\- ( **PIPER** ) -

Neither Nico and Will die easily or quickly and it hurts to see them go. You're not quite sure if it hurts more or less than the first few, because you're still not sure you're feeling any of this. Really, you're not sure you've felt anything since Lacey died. Because Annabeth and Percy and Frank and Reyna and so many other people are dead, and you are hurting.

Jason is hurting too. You see it in his eyes in the evening light as you run your fingers down his chest and his arms tighten around you. He's your salvation, but you're both still falling apart. People tend to avoid the both of you. Neither of you are really feeling very sociable anymore, but that's kind of understandable.

Jason wakes you up in the middle of the night coughing and you squint at his face in the dark. There's something dark by his lips and your hand brushes the droplet away as you frown. His eyes stare into yours and he's hurting. Maybe it's for the best. Your fingertips trace around his eyes and over his cheekbones and his fingers stroke against your hips. You kiss him anyways, because the world is ending and you love him, so why not.

You tell Hazel in the morning. She squeezes your hand and asks you not to go. You can't look her in the eye. All your friends are dead and dying, and you are still planning on leaving her behind. Arguably, you don't have much of a choice. The only thing you really want to donow, is to spend the rest of your days with Jason because neither of youhave many left.

* * *

\- ( **HAZEL** ) -

There are only three people present when you burn Jason and Piper's shrouds. It is you, and some Iris boy with hunched shoulders and a sad smile, and Drew Tanaka who is somehow still alive. You know she and Piper hated each other, but you watch as she lights the beige shroud almost respectfully and gently. Time heals a lot of things.

Too many people are dead. You'll be dead soon too. Your chest hurts and there's a throbbing in the base of your skull. A swaying of your balance, a tremble in your knees, and a sad glance to the sky over a camp that is not your home. The first time you died, it was before all your friends and before you were ready, this time you are the last and you have been ready far too long.

 _ALL YOUR FRIENDS ARE DEAD_ and so are you.

* * *

\- ( **LEO** ) -

The skies seem darker over here, and the ominous feeling in your gut doesn't go away. Calypso's arms are still tight around your waist, and her breath on your ear tickles when she asks if you're okay. But, you're not and you're not exactly sure why.

Then you see the camp. Or, what used to be the camp. The buildings look fine, but it's quiet, even from so high up in the air. As you start lowering, your fear intensifies, and Calypso grips you tighter. When you hit the ground, the stench hits you. It's unlike almost anything you've ever smelt, and the only thing that compares is the faint memory of the House of Hades.

This smell: this is the smell of death.

You leap off your dragon, for once not concerning yourself with Calypso, and your feet hit the familiar earth with hollow, resounding thuds. You stagger forward and the camp is silent. There is no life. There is no welcoming party, no surprise, no excitement from your friends and family. There are no best friends to hurl themselves at you before they break down crying and it feels like home again, because _it is too silent_.

The Apollo cabin is nearby, and you run to it. Surely there must be someone. The door swings open too easily, and the smell of death grows even stronger. You take in the scene of unmoving campers sprawled on bunks, and the eerie glow of the sunlight through the cabin which seems far too happy.

One step forward.

You recognize the boy lying on one of the beds. His hair is dark and his skin whiter than even you remember it. There's a red stain along his lips. Your heart flickers. The other boy, lying draped across him is familiar too. He used to be bright, but half his soft hair is missing, and his blue eyes stare uselessly at the face of the other boy. Your hands curl into your shirt hem. You know them both, and they're both dead.

You turn tail and flee from Apollo's cabin. Calypso is waiting for you outside and she looks concerned, but you can't even make it to her. You collapse to the grass, and sobs grip your body, more violent than they ever have been before. The world didn't wait for you. Your friends couldn't wait for you.

You don't have to see them to know. You are LEO VALDEZ, the boy who died and defied the laws of the Underworld, and _ALL YOUR FRIENDS ARE DEAD._

"Leo," her voice murmurs softly. She knows something is wrong. "Is this your home? Are your friends here?"

You look up at the sky and don't try to halt your tears. Your friends were here, but not anymore. A cough cuts through your sobs and you take shaky breaths. There are no words to say. You didn't get to say goodbye to them, and they died thinking they would be joining you soon enough. Your screams echo across the empty, desolate camp.

* * *

 _You poor, poor fool. Don't you know there is no such thing as a happy ending for a hero?_

* * *

 _"show me a hero and I'll write you a tragedy." - f. scott_ _fitzgerald_

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Um... So... Angst. Sorry. It was something that just wouldn't get off my mind. You can mostly blame the World War Angst going on over at Tumblr right now.

Find me: Tumblr: nicolewrites  
AO3: nicole_writes


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